ineeddrama

Recently i just found out why you ended it. You thought i didn't trust you. The thing is, i did trust you. I only told you about all the "warnings" to be honest, to talk about something that'll make both of us laugh because, honestly, people telling me to be careful was and is funny. That was that. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean for you to think that i didn't trust you. We talked about it and i told you so many times that despite everything i've been hearing i was still gonna give it a chance. And i did. But you gave up. I wanted to motivate you to prove them, me wrong. But you didn't. I bet it would've worked out if you weren't such a MORON. Lesson learned for me.

Well if you must know. I miss you. But you're never gonna know that. Which is fine with me cause well, you were a jerk too for leaving it at that. If i hadn't confronted you about it, i bet you wouldn't have said anything. You would've just left it like that. Hanging. And i would've stayed clueless, DAZED and confused.


To the public:
Yeah, i know. Cheesy much. But really, fuck it. I'm frustrated so just give me this chance to rant about how i feel.
I hate people who do this. You know, publicly rant about their feelings. But god, i've bottled this up for too long.
So yeah there. Don't worry. This will be the first and last public bitter entry you will ever read from me.



Ha! Now i can breathe properly.

Keep trying to repress all these familiar feelings
I'm blinded by your stare
I lose sense of time in your smiling eyes
Everything's whirling beneath my skin
If only I could lie next to you, time frozen for eternity
Snapshots of your profile
Your alluring aura
All of these are blazing in my mind
Three hours is all it took
In your warm embrace, I wanted to melt into slumber




FUCK! What else can i say?! Haha.

To those who are loyal "JAKETTES" (girls gaga over Jake Ryan), read this article:

Real Men Can't Hold a Match to Jake Ryan of 'Sixteen Candles'
(The Washington Post | February 14, 2004)
By Hank Stuever


Listen to all the Thompson Twins songs you want, but let's finally admit that Jake Ryan from "Sixteen Candles" is never coming to get you.

Not in the red Porsche 944, and not wearing that Fair Isle sweater vest. Not with his shiny black hair moussed gently heavenward, not with his gooey brown eyes and square Matt Dillonesque jaw. He will not be standing there with his hands in the pockets of his 501 button-fly jeans (while leaning against said Porsche), and he will not be shyly waving at you from across the street. ("Yeah, you," he mouths, just as in the movie, after you look behind you to see what girl he could possibly be interested in.)

Let's be even more clear: Popular high school seniors don't dump their cheerleader girlfriends with great bods so they can ask out a sophomore girl nobody notices. Jake did not actually do this, because he is not real.

This last fact has not stopped many, many women (and not a few men on the refreshment committee) from wishing there was such a thing as Jake Ryan.

Jake Ryan, Jake Ryan, Jake Ryan. Write his name in loopy cursive on a piece of loose-leaf notebook paper and pass it on. Even though it has been two decades since the release of John Hughes's high school comedy "Sixteen Candles," there are women out there in their late-twenties to mid-thirties (and even younger, including teenage girls today who weren't even around in that era) who to this day are still pining for a fictional character, the perfect high school crush.

"Jake Ryan? He's only the most popular boy in school," goes a line from the movie. The simple utterance of his name is enough to add salt to the wound of Valentine's Day.

"He's the whole package," says Andrea Danyo, 28, who does public relations work for National Public Radio. "Even just the name has become something. I swoon when I hear it. . . . For just about all of my friends, 'Jake Ryan' is a given moniker for the ideal boy, as in, 'Yeah, it was a good date, but he's clearly no Jake Ryan.' "

Women who fell hard for Jake Ryan have for years secretly harbored the idea of the one true and perfect boyfriend who (through some Hollywood miracle we're never quite made to understand) notices the freckly, insecure wallflower Samantha Baker, played by Molly Ringwald, whose family has forgotten her 16th birthday. Ringwald stands in for Everygirl, who, on some subconscious level, hated being a teenager.

In the movie's happy ending, it turns out Jake (played by long-ago vanished model-actor Michael Schoeffling) has just as big of a crush on Samantha. He shows up at the end and takes her away to his big, rich house and gets her a birthday cake aglow with candles. This image of them sitting on top of the dining room table burned hot and permanent into the post-boomer female psyche.

"Make a wish," he tells her, about to kiss her.

"It already came true," she manages before the lip lock. Cue New Wave popsters Thompson Twins singing "If You Were Here."

Why Schoeffling? Why Jake? Why him and not any of a hundred other hunky love interests from underwhelmingly successful teen flicks and TV shows? ("I'm trying to think of another one who compares to him," Danyo ventures, "and there aren't. . . . Maybe that's why I'm single. Maybe he really has ruined it for us all.")

Women can talk about Jake two ways:

The first way is easy and chatty, in the hyperactive sing-song you hear from people who appear on all those VH1 retro-documentaries about '80s pop culture. (Oh, those weird, wacky '80s trends! Remember??!!) Actress Sarah Michelle Gellar told Cosmopolitan magazine in 1998 that "John Hughes killed high school for me" and Jake Ryan ruined her on love (this was before she met Freddie Prinze Jr., who falls somewhat short of Jakeness). Same goes for Jennifer Love Hewitt, who in 2002 told Rolling Stone, "My whole life, I've been waiting for Jake Ryan . . . to come and get me." And Moon Unit Zappa -- the ur-Valley Girl -- told the Times of London in 2000 that she used to carry around a photo of Schoeffling in her wallet, and even now: "I'd watch ["Sixteen Candles"] with anyone, even a stranger off the street. And if they don't like it, they're no friend of mine."

The second way of talking through Jake-related issues is harder. It's about an ache, a loss. It's about the imperfection of life. In the movie, Ringwald's character muses on what a 16th birthday is supposed to be like: "A big Trans-Am in the driveway with a ribbon on it and some incredibly gorgeous guy you meet in France and you do it on a cloud without getting pregnant or herpes." In this way she is asking for a miracle and Jake is Christ, redeeming the evil sins of high school. Jake as the ideal. Jake as the eternal belief in something better. (Jake on the phone, leaving a message Samantha is temporarily fated not to receive: "Would it be possible for you to tell me if there is a Samantha Baker there, and if so, may I converse with her briefly?")

Some women admit, when they look back at the movie, that there are a few red flags: "I don't really like guys who drive nice cars," Danyo says, thinking of the Porsche. "But I think he still has values." Also, there is the nagging suspicion that Jake only notices Samantha when he chances upon the lost "sex test" she fills out in her independent study period, writing that Jake Ryan is the one boy she would "do it" with. Also, he's a rich kid who hangs out with jocks and bimbos, and nothing good ever came of that, not in high school.

But Jake stands the test of time, even in his good looks. His wardrobe -- cargo pants, plaid shirt -- portends an Abercrombie vibe years before it came. His haircut requires only minor tweaking in a mental update of the fantasy. "He's timeless. He doesn't have a Flock of Seagulls hairstyle or anything," says Rick Sayre, 30, a bookstore employee in Miami who started a Web page devoted not only to the Jake Ryan ideal but to locating Schoeffling.



Boo. Step on a girl's fantasy, won't you. But it's true. This is reality. Jake Ryan is make believe.

Too bad.

We ran over a stray dog awhile ago. Well, actually my dad did. But I still feel guilty. We killed a living creature. I feel so guilty. Boo.

Ahoy mates!

It's a saturday. I'm at work. I normally don't go to work on Saturdays. But today was an exception. Special request by my boss. A couple of days ago he said that he couldn't go to work today because he wanted to take a break. Go to Bora or something. So okay fine. I said I'd try.

Then yesterday I told him that it was malabo for me to go to work because I had a date with a couple of friends today. He gave me the whole "Lagi na lang kita pinagbibigyan when you're absent. Ako naman pagbigyan mo." speech. Which is true. I have been absent a few times. Okay fine. I said that I'd find a way. Later that day when I asked him again where he was going today, he brushed me off. The only thing he told me was that he was auditioning for something. Okay fine. Auditions for what though?! Hmmm...

So good thing our Saturday plans were cancelled. I could go to work already. And I did. I'm still here.

AND bwahahahahahaha.

Guess what?

My boss is trying out for PHILIPPINE IDOL. PhiLIpPine IDol. pHIliPPine iDOL. PhiLLIPine idOL.
Ohmygod.
I thought of that when he said he had auditions today. I saw them advertising it last week. But I really thought he was kidding. He wouldn't actually do that, right? OR so I thought.
I've heard him a couple of times. KUMBAGA..Patapon-singing lang. But gosh! I didn't think he actually considered it as a serious career.

He doesn't know that i know. It's FOULING time.
hahaha. PHILIPPINE IDOL. Crazy. hahahaha.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOOGIE. I Honestly thought that today was the 22nd. So, I really didn't forget your birthday (which I normally do). I love ya. We all miss you.

P.S. I texted you too. Thinking that today was the 22nd. Boo. Sorry.

I have a job. I mean, I'm not sure if i should take it. My mom's client wants me. haha. Okay, that sounds wrong. ahaha. I'm supposed to interview people who would like to franchise their business or something. Great right? I guess it's better than making coffee and typing documents. Here's the thing...it's from 1-9pm. Daily. I get the minimum wage thing which is fine. But erm, 1-9pm?! Can i do that?!
I have a life too, you know. It's summer. I want to go out with my friends. But how can I if I'm stuck in the "office" for 8 hours straight? What if i have overnights or Oakwood part 2 or parties and shit?!

Okay.
Poll: Should I take the job?
Comments will be appreciated.

I need to get out of this house. I haven't been out since...I don't know...Miel's ata. Bottomline: I need to get out of this house. Um excuse me...feel free to steal me away whenever. Open 24/7. haha.

No turning back now. I've confirmed. Waiting to see what'll happen.

Before we even graduated, I've read so many "I'm going to miss highschool" entries. Now I'm nasesenti and I feel like posting my own entry.

It's officially summer for all of us. The only difference is that this year there's no returning back to Poveda after 3 months. We're all moving on to our own respective colleges. New opportunities. New friends. New challenges. New experiences.

3 years spent with the best class ever. It really makes me sad to think that after being with them for such a long time, I was only able to get close to each and everyone of them this year. The year we all have to separate. I'm going to miss our make-up sessions, making marjee BI, camwhoring with everyone, making tsismis with the IW barkada, jamming with Fran, looking for my guitar cause everyone keeps using it, planning gimmicks with people..EVERYTHING. 4C is pasaway. 4C is love.

If there's one thing I really hate about this year, it's that my grades sucked. My grades in first, second and third year were a lot better than what I got this year. But nonetheless, I've learned not to care. Because this year I also learned to have fun. Now that I think about it, I find it strange that though I've known people since gradeschool, I was only able to really bond with them this year.
3rd year was the most tiring year in highschool...of course it was. We all know that it's because of CSDC. I would never give that experience up for anything. BUT I can definitely say that this year stressed me out more than last year. Talaban. TALABAN. Talaban. College entrance test. Anticipating the results. Getting the results. CSDC. Session Tests. Quizzes. Homeworks.

Despite everything I just mentioned, this year was still the best.

shit. I'm really going to miss Poveda. Or should I say, my Povedan friends lang?

I don't know how to end this entry.
I guess I should just say Goodbye.
and
See you along Katipunan in June.

I can't take it anymore. I'll decide when I'm ready. Stop telling me that you want me to go to UP. I get it. You want me to go to UP. STOP IT! Damn you! It's not like I have a choice anyway.

Thanks for making it an even harder decision. Gosh! But just the same, Praise the Lord.
Thanks Gelo, oh bearer of good news.
Damn exams.
30 minutes into Physics and i'm already tired. I need a break. *yawn*
WE ALL HAVE COLLEGES. Let us graduate already.

Stop delaying our future, bitches. I want to go back to school. Let me back in Poveda. I want to hear Mang Bags paging my name again. I want to make tsismis with 4C again. I want to go back to gale for Mcdo. Please..let me back in to Poveda. Oh dear God.

Kiara, here's your most awaited entry. Haha. Sorry if you got hurt. My internet sucked yesterday. Well anyway, I just really wanted to say 3 words to you. I'm sure you know it.

YOU
REALLY
SUCK

Joke lang..malamang, I LOVE YOU woman. Thanks for making my night super special. Whatever, my song is still prettier. haha. And you just copied me. I did that for your debut. tsss..haha, thanks bes. I love ya.
mwah. :)

I really did. And thank you for being part of it. Thanks for being late. Thanks for the wonderful gifts. Thanks for all the hugs and kisses. Thanks for all the surprises. Thanks for all the dances. Thanks for THE dance. Thanks for the flowers. Thanks for the coke rum. Thanks for the "punch." Thanks for the san mig light.
Thanks for all the messages. Thanks for the videos. Thanks for making me cry. Thanks for making me laugh. Thanks for making me feel kilig. Thanks for all being so hot.

But most of all...

Thanks for being such great friends. And to those who didn't go...I still love you all.
I love my life (well, for now..haha, joke!)

Mares: I love you guys. God. I really thought you were being serious about not preparing anything for me. After all my "subtle" hints and *ahem ahem*s, you guys managed to surprise me. You made my night. 18 years down. 4 years spent with you. Thank you.

Cers: I love you guys. Thanks for stealing my wallet and my *you-know-what*. I knew it was you. I so knew it. I was about to die, just so you know. But nonetheless, I love you. Thank you.

Impy: I love you boyfriend. We really are the same. I'm happy for you. I'm happy for me too. Thanks for making THAt happen. It was perfect. It really was. I love you. Thank you.

The Extended Barkada: I love you guys. Thank you for officially adopting me. Room 2420 ulit. Oakwood part 2 please. I love you. Thank you.

Cers and Ders in general: I love you all. 18 slow dances. All good. I was waiting for that to happen since last year. You were all worth the wait. I mean this in the most non-lesbian way possible. I love you. Thank you.

TO EVERYONE: I LOVE YOU ALL. hugs and kisses. Life would not be the same without you.

Basta...thank you for THE dance. Aw aw aw.

Why can't i access multiply?! How will i ever survive?!
I need to see pictures. Now how will i do that without multiply? (okay, you can sense my vanity!)
But seriously, i need multiply. I want multiply!
I guess it's high time for me to go back to good old friendster.
Why must God be so cruel to us good people?! WHY!?

Tell me, is this a normal?
Boo.
Multiply sucks.

I am happy. After 2 months of pure B****r***s (fill in the blanks) coming from some sort of "strawberry" syndrome, I'm a new person. heehee. I am happy. I love you all.

Empoy is my soulmate. And i don't mean that in a kinky way.
"Ayoko ng torpe, ayoko ng torpe, ayoko ng torpe, pero gusto kita."
Kisses to all.

Btw, we sucked in our ateneo gig AGAIN. We are never going to be complete ever.
Kai, remember what you told me a minute before we played?...I feel the same way.
I still love Tala.

Went to chris' debut afterall. Last minute thing. It was fun. Everyone was so beautiful. Chris was hot. I am so confused. Should i have a party? I'm so tamad to plan one. AND THERE'S LIKE LESS THAN A MONTH LEFT!

What to do? What to do?

WHO KNEW YAN YUZON WAS SO HOT?! oh gawd, he really is.
I never felt this way for yael.
yeah i know, i sound like one of those pathetic fans...but you know what...
who the hell cares?!
YAN WAS SO HOT!

shout outs to all the yan yuzon lovers: den, steph, mika sol, fats, carmela, pam, les, bugoy, cam, etc etc etc.

p.s. I swear, I really had a moment with yan. (Laugh all you want, but i swear, i really did.)
Here's what happened.

Front row with the C-ers and other adopted people (names mentioned earlier)
knelt on the floor cause all the chairs were occupied
camwhoring with carmela and fats and everyone else
steven uy introduced spongecola
after playing lunes, spongecola played gemini
mika sol, pam, les and i shouted "Be my romeo, yan!"
5 seconds passed
Yan Yuzon looked at the audience, right at me
Yan Yuzon smiled
I melted
Hulog panty anak ng pots.

hahahahaha. That's the story of my life.

Romeo, Romeo wherefore art thou romeo...
Two household both alike in dignity...
Thus with a kiss, I die...
You kiss by the book...

What would you do if you found out that someone made out with someone else?

Someone he/she shouldn't have made out with?!

What would you do?

Would you go with your gut and spread the word? hahaha..mean, i know.

OR......

Would you wait?

oh hell.
The suspense is killing me.

*mwahs to everyone.

I've just a few words to say.

oh..what na?

BLUE OR GREEN?!
BLUE GrEEN
blue grEen
BLUE GReen
bluE GREEN
BLue gREEn
BlUE gREen
BluE GReEN

around 2 months to decide..

What can one night do to 8 girls? One word: Everything
I won't discuss all the details of that night. But can i just say, It was the best. It was crazy. It was awesome.
Bugoy, you should have stayed. You left Angelo all alone!

Room 2402 will always remain in my heart. That i tell you. I love you steph. Happy Birthday and thanks for last night. I think i needed that.

3 Major Questions of last night, Decemeber 17:
1. Boyfriends?.....What boyfriends?!

2. Sober?.....What sober?!

3. Bitterness?....What bitterness?! It will end tonight.

"Strawberry. Beh." -> hahahaha...
Thank god it didn't "rain." I was so scared we'd all end up soaked cause of the sprinklers. Magaling kami magtago.

Thank you's and I love you's to steph, den, paul, mika, faye, ivy, pam, bugoy, and angelo na rin.